Why I Have Become a Masculist

Let me start by saying that I have never had a real political agenda. Kelly would likely argue that I grew up to the right of O'Reilly and would never support liberal ideals of any sort. I have come to realize that being a political conservative is very easy when you're young. Once you start paying bills, having sex and re-thinking your religious views, it gets a little harder to accept these ideas. For example, a person who isn't having sex is much more likely to be opposed to abortion. Can you blame them? We believe what we are told. I was raised Catholic... 'nuff said.

WHAT CAUSED ME TO BE A MASCULIST?

I came to realize that while I have just recently adopted this view as a real political and social ideology, I have felt that men are discriminated against for quite some time now. On June 27, 2007 I posted a blog on my myspace page about how men are expected to be womanizing bastards and are ridiculed for having morals regarding sexual interactions. You can read that post here. I titled that post "The GIFT is NOT a Sex Toy!". It's been nearly 2 years so I think I can tell the story without risking hurt feelings of the people involved...

The previous weekend, I had gone to visit a recent ex-girlfriend who was moving back to the area for school. Kelly had gone home for the evening and I went over to New Paltz to visit my ex. When I arrived i found that she was remarkably drunk on hard apple cider. It didn't take her long to start putting the moves on me. When I started to pull away she asked if Kelly was the reason I refused to sleep with her. The truth is, she was. I had just started dating Kelly (officially) and I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with anyone else and creating immediate trust issues. When I turned my ex down her response was, "You're passing up sex just because you have a girlfriend? Jesus Christ! What kind of a MAN are you???"

That was enough to send me into a tirade. How was it possible that women are chastised for being promiscuous and men could be chastised for NOT being slutty. It didn't make sense. I didn't feel as if the fact that I was a man should influence me to have immoral sex with a woman. That's why I posted a long blog about the double standard that exists specifically in the world of sexual morality. Not surprisingly, people took that post about as seriously as they are taking this change in general. In fact, the only comment I got on that post was a laugh and a claim that I was, "still as dry as ever". This is gonna be an uphill battle.

THE LAST STRAW

On Friday April 17, 2009 I headed to a local historic site to enjoy some warm weather with my infant son. I knew he was going to have to be changed and fed so I headed for the guest house containing the only public restrooms on the property. I took him and the diaper bag into the mens room and quickly discovered that there was no changing station. This is not terribly uncommon, especially in buildings this old. I thought nothing of it at first and just brought him into the common area where there was a long bench. At the moment I was starting to change him, my mother emerged from the womens' room asking why I wasn't changing him in the bathroom. When I told her that the situation she looked confused. She said, "Well, there's one in the girls' room. You want me to do it?" I got VERY upset.

WHY IS MASCULISM IMPORTANT TO DADS?

I have been noticing for some time that the whole world caters to stay-at-home moms to a much greater degree than stay-at-home dads. There are an incresing number of sta-at-home dads in this country but the disparity is still pretty huge. Here are some statistics I found:

In 1970 there were 393,000 single dads in this country. That number has jumped to over 2 million in recent years.

The 2002U.S. Census showed that there were 189,000 stay-at-home dads in the U.S. compared to 11 million stay-at-home moms. (That puts the percentage of dads at around 1.7%)

The number of stay-at-home dads in this country are:

105,000 in 2004
147,000 in 2005
143,000 in 2006
159,000 in 2007

These statistics are a little slighted. The truth is that the U.S. Census only counts stay-at-home dads as those in married couples. Some reports suggest that there are actually closer to 1.2 million fathers who are the primary caregivers to the children in their homes. I could ramble on and on about the stupid stereotypes surrounding fathers as parents and the dsicrimintation that follows the term "Mr. Mom" but I'm sure I'll get into that much more as time progresses. But I also want to make sure that I explore other areas such as female-on-male domestic violence, double standards in rape cases, male abortion, circumcision and the macho pressures put on young boys today. Keep posted. It could be a lot of fun.

"Steve, you have officially lost it..."

Well, I am growing to accept this opinion about my recent choice in political identity. I have joked for many years now about how there should be a movement for men's rights in this country. I get annoyed when I hear stories of men being discriminated against in cases of abuse, rape, child custody, child support and general issues relating to gender roles. I called this stupid idea "masculism", a push for gender equality from a male perspective. I really had no idea that something like this actually existed....

WHO AM I?

I am a 27 year-old stay-at-home father, professional stand-up comic and pizza delivery guy (in that order). I have lived all 27 years of my life in Dutchess County, NY near Poughkeepsie and I have never really wanted to live elsewhere. On January 17, 2009 at 11:05 PM my son Jacob was born and my role as a human being in this world changed totally. I have always been a bit egotistical and for the first time in my life I was presented with the concept of really living my life for someone else. If you analyze things closely, you'll realize that this is all his fault.

WHY THE BLOG?

I did a Google search on terms like "masculism" and "men's rights activism" and it seemed like so many search results were blogspot items. I realize that the concepts discussed involve mostly questions of opinion and contrasting scientific studies on the same subject matter. I did manage to get a good idea of what masculism is and the core tenets of belief of many masculists. I am really just attempting to find my own way of exorcising my demons (as many of you will grow to understand) and offer my own opinions about discrimination against males in this society. I plan to use examples from my own life to support or disprove the ideas given. I cannot stress enough that, like most blogs, the statements made herein will be mostly OPINION unless stated otherwise.

WHAT IS "MASCULISM"?

When I first did the search, I was brought almost immediately to a Wikipedia page describing the definition and principles of masculism. It is defined as follows:

Masculinism (also Masculism) is the advocacy of men's rights, and the adherence to or promotion of social theories and moral philosophies regarded as typical of males. The term masculinism was coined as the counterpart of feminism in the early 20th century. The shortened form masculism appears in the 1980s.

I have since read several definitions of masculism and come to the comclusion that only one truly jives with my actual beliefs on the subject: Masculism is sexual eqalitarianism from a male perspective.

WHAT MASCULISM IS NOT...

Masculism is not a desire for a male dominated society. I will agree with many feminists that humans have existed in patriarchal societies where women where put down and discriminated against. I want to be very clear that I do not seek male dominance. I will be quite happy with equality. This is one of the major reasons that I believe many masculists and feminists are on the same page. Gender discrimination still exists in all over the world includind the U.S. My hope is to express that women are not the only ones who suffer from this slight.



I hope to add in my next entry my SPECIFIC reasons for adopting a masculist view and pointing out some examples of masculist beliefs.