I made a decision a few days ago that 4 months is far too long to go without posting a new entry if this is indeed something I am serious about. I apologize to those of you who have liked reading my entries and who seem to enjoy debating the topics raised with me either online or in person. I assure you I have enjoyed it as much if not more. I have also made the decision that a post that is 2 months in the making better damn well be worth it. With that in mind, I have chosen what I have found to be the most controversial belief of many masculists and men's rights groups... MALE ABORTION!
Unfortunately, I have run into some serious issues with the whole debate. The main issue I found is that the whole topic is simply monstrous! When we are discussing reproductive rights there are certainly a lot of opinions and subtopics with their own debates. I'm certain we could debate these issues for hours on end but instead of just throwing out my own views I will ask for yours. Yup, I finally start blogging again after months of absence and I'm asking my readers to do the writing. I really do just need to get some idea of where to go with this. Please help me!
I am going to just list some quick questions and hope for some genuine responses just to get the ball rolling a bit. Answer as many or as few as you feel like. Thanks in advance....
1.) Should a man have any say in whether or not a pregnant woman chooses to have a baby? Should he be able to have her carry the pregnancy full term even if she wants an abortion?
2.) If a man decides he does not want to be a parent after impregnating a woman, should he be allowed to abdicate all rights and responsibilities to the child? (ie. no visitation, no child support. nothing!)
3.) Should a man be financially liable for part or all of the cost of a woman's abortion if she so decides? If he is morally opposed to abortion, does that change things?
4.) Do you believe men should always have to pay child support? How about if the woman becomes pregnant through manipulation or deceit?
5.) Is contraception a man's duty? Should a man be morally obligated to use latex condoms because they are cheaper and have less side effects than, say, the birth control pill?
6.) If men are allowed to abdicate all responsibilities to children and their pregnant mothers, what's to stop a man from simply spreading his seed as often as he chooses?
7.) AND THIS ONE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!... Men and women ARE biologically different? Given that fact, is there an equitable solution? Is the current system fair?
It's a lot I know. I really just appreciate any help I can get here. I'm looking for ALL opinions and not just the ones you think I will agree with. Thanks.
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Wow, This one must be a tough subject. I guess I'll post since no one else has. I'm going to start by saying that I am always opposed to abortion, that being said, I'll answer the questions.
ReplyDelete1.) I think that while it is the woman who carries the child for the full term of the pregnancy, the choice to have an abortion should be made with the knowledge and consent of the man involved. It shouldn't be a decission that is made out of fear or panic and it should be talked through, because it is a big decission. I think that if a man knows that a woman was carrying his child, but she got an abortion without him knowing, it could be potentally devestating to the man(particularly if the man does have a moral opposition to abortion.)
2.) This is a hard one. Since I am opposed to abortion in general, I tend to have the view that individuals need to take responsibility for their actions. If a man did not want a child to begin with, he should have taken steps to prevent the pregnancy to begin with. Abortion should not be a quick fix or a form of birth control. So, I think that if a man does get a women pregnant, and he is aware of that from the start, he should take responsibility and help in raising that child. However, there are some exceptions to this.
3.) If a couple agrees to get an abortion, the cost should be split. However, If a woman decides that she wants an abortion without discussing it with the male partner, the abortion cost should be her sole responsibility.
4.) Well, I guess this is where I can list the exceptions to question #2. In a case where a man is led to believe that a woman is on birth control to prevent pregnancy, but she is not, I don't think that is should be a mans obligation to pay child support. In a situation where a woman tries to get pregnant to keep her man arouud without him knowing, a man should not be obligated to pay child support. In a case where a woman does not tell a man that he has a child until she needs his money, a man should not be obligated to pay child support.
5.) If a man does not want a child and he knows his partner does not want a child, he should do what is necessary to prevent a pregnancy. If a man knows that a woman is not on birth control for some reason or another and he does not want to be stuck raising a baby or paying child support, then birth control is his responsibility. Birth control it one of those things that should be discussed with your partner if it is at all possible.
6.) Most of the time men do need to take responsibility for their children.
7.) Men and women are different and that is why decissions should be made together. Women have to carry a child for 9 months, and deliver a child. Even though men do not have this initial responsibility, they do have others as the child grows up.
What I know about the current system is that the biological father has to pay child support in most situations, thats fine, but I know that it is not particularly fair in some situations.
Note that just because I have said that in some situations a man should not be obligated to pay child support, that doesn't mean that he shouldn't find it in his heart to do so anyway.
I hope that helped at least a little.
Thank you for taking the time. :-)
ReplyDelete1.) If a woman chooses to have a baby the man should not be given the right to stop her. If the world were fair then a man should be able to decide to keep a baby without the woman having the right and ability to override his desire. If a man were somehow given the right to stop a woman from aborting a child she could easily not tell him about the pregnancy at all or secretly get the abortion. This may start up the "back-room" procedures that occurred years ago that caused the death of many women.
ReplyDelete2.) I do think a man should be permitted to cut all ties from a child he has no interest in parenting but the laws of the land are always so ambiguous (such as adoption laws) that people are too often given the opportunity to change their minds.
3.) Ideally the decision should be made jointly and both people would come to an agreement on what to do. If they decide not to go through with the pregnancy they should both accept the financial responsibility of their decision just like if they both agree to go through with the pregnancy they both should be fully responsible for the financial obligations. If a woman decides on abortion and the man is opposed he should not be financially responsible.
4.) Already said that a man should be permitted to opt out of any involvement but if he wants any involvement at all then he must accept all the responsibilities of parenthood. I also believe a man should make his decision about involvement prior to the birth or have it assumed that he does want involvement. I don't think he should be permitted to "try it out" then back out if he decides it is too much for him or gets in the way of his life.
5.) Since no contraception is fool proof and both men's and women's contraception have benefits they both should use it. If a woman is concerned about side effects I think there are still some types that have few or no side effects like a "female condom" or a diaphram. There may be others but I'm really not up on the current products.
6.) What's to stop a man now?!? Are the majority of men celibate because they know they may have to pay child support for 18-21 years.
7.) The current system is not fair! I don't think there is a fair and equitable solution. Though I would like for a man to have the same rights in the issue as a woman I don't think it will ever happen because for him to have the same rights he would dictate to a woman what happens to her body, possibly for nine months.
Most of these thoughts are "off the cuff" and I may change my mind repeatedly as I think further about it.
No person (male or female) should be allowed to force another to become a parent if they are not ready or willing. It is too big a life change to force another into. However, the arguement for this one is a little heavier on one side due to biology. If the man decides he does not wish to become a father and the woman chooses to keep it his responsibility would be over from the point of his decision. In a reverse situation she would still have to wait 9 months for her decision to take effect. The only way to make that SLIGHTLY more balanced would be to have the man responsible for the mother's care during pregnancy even if he chooses not to be a father. But let's face it. That's a bit of a riduculous thought and because of the things a pregnancy will put a woman through she does and should have final say.
ReplyDeleteWhile a woman should and does have final say in a pregnancy she should not have the same power over parenthood. If a man is not ready financially or emotionally to become a father he should be able to give up all rights and claims.
3.) Sorry. My opinion still hasn't really changed on this one. If a man and a woman decide that neither of them are fit to be parents then yes he should be partially responsible. At first I thought if he was opposed to the abortion he shouldn't have to pay, but then I thought what if she's morally opposed but still goes through with it because she knows she won't have the support from him she needs. Sometimes it is still the decision that needs to be made whether you agree with it or not and both parties should be responsible.
4.) I think if a man chooses to give up all rights and claims to a child then child support should be included regardles of the situation.
5.) Contraception is an individual duty. For a woman: If she would prefer a condom but he doesn't then it is her responsibility to take matters in her hands... if in either case a man or woman chooses to trust what their partner tells them in the way or birth control the "buyer beware"
6.) No matter what the solution is there are going to be a**holes out there. Men and women. The only real solution to this is education and moral upbringing coupled with self protection.
7.) No the system is not fair and given that men and women are biologically different there will never be a system that is 100% fair. But I do think improvements can be made and with each one we grow closer to a real solution.
Thanks to everyone who posted comments thus far. I appreciate it.
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