On DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (I have an idea...)

So in light of the way the Tiger Woods situation is being treated, I have been asked multiple times if I would write something about female-on-male domestic violence in this blog. The truth is we are likely not ever going to learn whether or not Tiger got beat up by his wife Elin over his numerous "bad choices" lately. I won't push the issue. But the truth is that the country is talking about the possibility and the problem of male domestic violence victims for the first time in a long time. I just wish they were talking about it SERIOUSLY. Tonight I saw a skit on SNL about it. This past week I have seen many jokes having been made about the situation. I have even heard Mike Francesa, my favorite radio talk show host, telling us that this idea is ridiculous and that there really isn't anything to worry about. Is there? I think there might be....

This topic was not in any way sparked by the Tiger Woods issue. I saw an article in my GlenSacks.com e-mail newsletter talking about how men's rights groups are becoming succesful in limiting legislation like the Violence Against Women Act. I mentioned it in my last blog and I won't go through that again. I will say that it sparked me to do some serious research on domestic violence laws and statistics. I even interviewed a few of the leading authorities in the area. (Yeah, I take it that seriously.) I saw some startling statistics and heard some interesting points of view. This, however, was the straw that broke the camel's back.




I could go on about this for hours. But I won't. It proves, if nothing else, that neither men nor women take this issue seriously. Let's just note that no one seems to think that the man needs protecting from the woman. Also, the ones who do notice all seem to think that the men deserve it... (sigh)

So I did some checking. The lady interviewed is right. According to most studies, women initiate violence slightly more often than men do but women are often injured more often. I have stated earlier that biology does seem to make men bigger and stronger than women on average. But I'm sure many of us know couples in which the woman is larger, stronger or possibly better trained in martial arts and could likely cause serious injury to the man. Let's also remember that weapons are the great equalizer in violence. Nothing cancels out that size difference faster than a common kitchen knife.

According to a Justice Department/Center for Disease Control survey, about 1.3 million women report being victims of domestic violence compared to about 835,000 men. That statistic suggest that about 39% of the victims are male. Some studies say it's from 4%-6%. Some say over 50%. But for my purposes I will use the one that was actually used to make policy in the Violence Against Women Act passed by congress and signed into law by Preasident Bush.

So if the number is so big then why isn't there more of an outcry? The simple truth is that men are less likely to come forward. I have discussed in my previous blog "On RAPE" exactly how much more shame there is for men to be subdued in cases of violence and sex crimes. Our society teaches men that we have to be tough guys and to be subdued by a woman is simply unforgiveable. This is a big problem.

In talking to the executive director of a local battered women's shelter I discovered that male victims that come forward to their organization are transferred to Battered Women's Services. Naturally, my next conversation was with the head of THAT office. She was a very nice lady. She assured me that male victims are treated very similarly to the women that come forward. They provide counseling, shelter, food if necessary and much of the aid that is offered to female victims. Where they fail to be truly equal (aside from the name itself) is that there are no local battered men's shelters, no support groups and MUCH WORSE there is very little information in circulation that there are even services available to abused men.

She seemed excited to meet a man who had taken such an interest in male victims and stated clearly that she would support any efforts I made on their behalf. She gave me ideas on people to talk to and suggested that I myself could get a support group started for abused men in the area. I'm not sure I have the necessary tools or skills to do that but I would like to see if I can help out in some way. When I asked just how something like that could be accomplished, she looked at the floor in dismay and sighed. "Everything costs money." she said. "Our resources are stretched so thin as it is that there isn't enough money to get more information for the male victims. We are a small organization and can't do much with our limited resources."

The solution seems simple: Get them more money specifically to help these guys.

HOW DO WE DO THAT?:

We take some of the government funding that has been earmarked for charities that serve exclusively women and give it to Battered Women's Services specifically to help the male victims of domestic violence in the area. Not only do I think this is a good idea but I think I have found a way to do it.....

(To be continued)